ASHOUZA EMPIRE
Wednesday 26 October 2016
Fais & Afrojack - Used To Have It All (Official Video)
Yup.... Used to have it all...!!!! But then again,, people do change sometimes....!!!!
Wednesday 5 October 2016
Pahala Jika Isteri Ajak Suami 'Bersama'
Pahala Jika Isteri Ajak Suami 'Bersama': Dalam kehidupan masyarakat kita, adalah sesuatu yang jarang sekali kita dengar kaum perempuan akan ...
Wednesday 21 September 2016
Thursday 15 September 2016
Monday 5 September 2016
BREATH...
And this is how it feels when I
Ignore the words you spoke to me
And this is where I lose myself
When I keep running away from you
And this is who I am when,
When I don't know myself anymore
And this is what I choose when
It's all left up to me
Breathe your life into me
I can feel you, I'm falling
Falling faster
Breathe your life into me
I still need you
I'm falling, falling
Breathe into me
Breathe into me
Breathe
And this is how it looks when
I am standing on the edge
And this is how I break apart
When I finally hit the ground
And this is how it hurts when I
Pretend I don't feel any pain
And this is how I disappear
When I throw myself away
Breathe into me
Breathe into me
Breathe into me
-RJA-
Ignore the words you spoke to me
And this is where I lose myself
When I keep running away from you
And this is who I am when,
When I don't know myself anymore
And this is what I choose when
It's all left up to me
Breathe your life into me
I can feel you, I'm falling
Falling faster
Breathe your life into me
I still need you
I'm falling, falling
Breathe into me
Breathe into me
Breathe
And this is how it looks when
I am standing on the edge
And this is how I break apart
When I finally hit the ground
And this is how it hurts when I
Pretend I don't feel any pain
And this is how I disappear
When I throw myself away
Breathe into me
Breathe into me
Breathe into me
-RJA-
Saturday 27 August 2016
Friday 26 August 2016
Sunday 24 July 2016
10 Things You Need to do to Successfully Work From Home
You’ve done it! Congratulations! You’ve finally escaped the clutches of everything you’ve been secretly plotting against for way too long. The grumpy boss. That sardine-like commute. The burning smell of the world’s worst instant coffee drifting from the kitchen. Office politics. Work that didn’t really matter to you.
But somehow it’s 6pm already. Another day has drifted past in a flash. Your feet are still bare because you didn’t feel the need to put socks on today. You’re in familiar surroundings and you don’t have to spend an hour getting home, but what have you really achieved?
Here are ten things you need to do in order to work from home like a boss.
1. Give yourself routine
If working from home is new to you this is going to take a little while to adapt, but the sooner you set parameters for the working day the better. Know where you’re going to work: this might change from morning to evening depending on how light shifts around your home office – let’s call it a hoffice. Make sure you’re at the desk by a set time and embrace getting up early, this is ok if you’re the one who decides you have to. Yep, you can play the snooze game, but boy it feels amazing to have nailed a ton of work before 10am.
Map your day according to how you think you’ll feel if you complete a certain set of challenges and let your measure of success revolve around tasks, not time.
2. Get up, shower, put clothes on
Don’t work from bed. Beds are for sleeping and other kinds of magic, let them be precious and special in their purpose. Wash the night away before doing anything. Getting straight to work because you can, doesn’t mean you’re on fire, because after a while you’re going to start itching. A sweaty homeworker is a silently disgruntled homeworker.
Blast your head with water, get fresh and don’t forget that you’re still a human even if you don’t have to spend your day with others. Now, put some clothes on. Yes, there’s a temptation to wander around in the nude and make phone calls, because you can. But don’t. Wear what you like as long as it’s not pyjamas, but wear something. Now, you’re ready to get started…
3. Focus: read, don’t type over meals
This is about honing your focus and ability to juggle different actions. If one of your hands is holding a spoon or a fork or a knife or a jar or a mug or a piece of fruit, you simply can’t type properly. Stop trying to do everything at once, we’re trying to make you into the most efficient working-from-home-beast possible. Open up a couple of blogs, articles or news pieces and read – this is stretching for your brain before you start doing cartwheels towards your own work.
4. Prioritise: Write a To Do list, yesterday…
Thinking ‘what do I do now?’ is the first step to potential boredom, and boredom kills dreams. Don’t be a dream killer.
To Do lists sound like they were invented by a cruel master, but they’re the key to self-motivation. This is your list and the summation of the day you’ve decided you’d like to have. Take ten minutes before you sleep every night to make the next day’s list – give yourself something to be excited about. Prioritise no more than three biggish tasks, and don’t be afraid to have a secondary list on a different page with things that need to be done, but not necessarily tomorrow
Know what you have to achieve and give yourself a timeframe to realistically do it well.
5. Set the musical mood
Your working environment is key. Be in a room with lots of light. Move your working space and direction around until you’re happy. Don’t have your back to the room, face it.
Working in silence is a distraction so get Spotify premium (other services are available) and find a Focus playlist. Vivaldi is scientifically proven to aid concentration but most classical music is perfect to start your working day (this isn’t about musical preference, it’s just clever ambience). If you’re writing don’t choose tunes with lyrics, you’ll only be tempted to sing along.
My personal favourite is Ludovico Einaudi – there’s something special about letting your mind switch off from everything other than what you’re focusing on – I’ve written three books to Einaudi, he never fails.
6. Destroy distraction
This is the difference between a good day and a bad day. Put your phone out of reach when you’re working or at the very least put it on Airplane Mode. A WhatsApp notification is distraction. So is a new match on Tinder. Or a new tweet or instagram or Facebook or advert or reminder. Stop it!
Save direct messages for break time and give your focus a chance to be relentless. Struggling not to automatically click onto Facebook to see how many likes that video of a kitesurfing squirrel has now? There are a couple of self-control apps that will physically stop pages like Facebook opening during the times you choose.
Basically, if anything during the day takes your eyes off the prize at any give moment make sure that you find a way to stop it happening in the future.
7. Work on, work off
If you’re running for a whole day with no stops to refuel, drink or rest, the person who chooses to run for only 45 minutes each hour will go further than you. Be a tortoise and rest your way to victory.
There are a bunch of ways to do this, but here’s a starter: at the beginning of each work session set your phone timer to go off in 50 minutes. As soon as it beeps, stop working for ten minutes. Stand up, move around, drink water, breathe. Try not to look at a screen but if you must, this is your window to check and reply to WhatsApp. Then after ten minutes set the timer, and get going again. Three or four hour-long sessions might feel productive, but you’ll do more if you have multiple rests in that period. Be smart, not relentless.
8. Be email clever…
For years I had a thing: my inbox is my To Do list – my work isn’t over unless it’s empty. At heart, this meant I got things done, but there was a downside because I never closed it. If you’re an inbox nazi just breathe. Every email you send out is potentially asking for another one back and if you’re in the swing of things you could spend all day on email without time for rest. A productive day is not a day spent online. An open email inbox is a destructive taunt and temptation, and the moment I tried a new technique I started getting more successful.
So now I only check email at certain times. The first window is 10-10:30am, which gives me two hours on a typical work day to write, create and not get waylaid. Half an hour is enough time to reply to urgent messages and to get a feel for other work or opportunities, but don’t get sucked in. If there are pressing issues another half hour of email in the early afternoon is ok, but I save the bulk of my email clearing until after the working day for most people who email me is over. This way they’re not going to be replying immediately, letting me get on with other stuff.
If you have a remote team and use whatsapp, slack or a similar app to communicate, try not to let it take over your life. Treat it like email, or only engage with it every hour.
9. Group similar activities
Group your skypes, conference calls and in-person coffee meetings. Block out a couple of mornings or afternoons each week for chats and leave the rest free for unbounded, undisturbed work.
10. Get Outside
Don’t forget to exercise. You don’t get it done on your bike commute any more and now that you’re in charge of your own destiny there might be a feeling that if you stop working you’re harming your chances of success. Here’s a newsflash: getting pale and porky in your home office is just going to make you tired and, in the long run, ill. Get some vitamin D, ride a bike, go read on a park bench, smell fresh air. Spend at least one day a week out and about. Go and see real people and get inspired by conversation.
For all the freedoms of working from home, if you don’t make it count that freedom might one day have to get shelved. It doesn’t have to be this way. Be good to yourself, work smart, learn as well as do and base it all on creating a habit to get things done. If you try and cook an elephant every meal, you’ll end up never eating* so break down the big stuff into smaller chunks and tick off hundreds of little tasks a day. Build momentum, be nothing but a doer and when you finally get to bed at the end of the day, make sure that you’ve made it count.
* Never, ever cook an elephant…
Wednesday 20 July 2016
Thursday 14 July 2016
Being married changes people. Some couples become closer and happier. Some become distant.
You learn to truly co-exist with someone every day, despite their flaws—and more, despite your own. You learn to work with what you have today, not what you want someday from him or her. You learn to give—and to receive, as well. Your true self starts to reappear from childhood.
Marriages force you to negotiate and compromise—a LOT, no matter you like it or not. After the first two years or so of lovey-dovey soft stuff, it becomes about just wanting to do good for him or her. After the honeymoon’s forgotten, it’s about the comfort, spending time together, not the glamour or the fancy gifts.
A friend’s father-in-law once said, “This got me through a good twenty first years of marriage: ‘You’re right, I’m wrong. I’m sorry, I will change.’ One day, she tells me. ‘Hey, I’ve heard this one too many times.’ I said, ‘I’m sorry, I will change. I’m wrong, you’re right.’ And this has lasted me another ten until today.”
Wisdom in marriage is hard-earned, in stride. Whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.
1. Marriage is constant work.
Never stop dating. Always pay attention. Keep learning, sharing, laughing with your partner. Treat yourself well and treat your partner even better. Never neglect your looks or words or actions—or your thoughts. Keep working hard to be a better person, lover, partner, chef, bartender and caretaker, janitor and driver. Seek truth, not to be right.
Make sure to listen carefully—the first time, every time. Just get stuff done ASAP, on time. Keep your mouth shut; don’t moan and complain. Be helpful, be encouraging. Get your chores done each day, don’t wait. Know when the storm is coming; it will pass. The morning’s wiser than the night. Resolve your argument before you sleep (apologize!)
2. Argument is just not worth it.
Most of the time, the argument is just not worth it. Pick your battles carefully.
Being right will make you proud one moment, but will piss her off. Bad move. Be smart.
3. Laugh hard.
If you can’t laugh, you’ll die. And if you can, you’ll manage through mundane, profane, the painful and the thrilling.
4. How’s life? How is your wife?
One and the same. That’s one cliche both sexes can agree on.
5. It can be like riding on a roller coaster.
How’s married life? The answer can be different any given day. Today is glorious, tomorrow awful. And so what?
6. Never compare your couple to any other.
This always leads to disaster. Never compare your house, your relationship, your sex life, your wealth or anything else to anyone else’s. That’s the first step to being consumed by fear, jealousy, envy and all the other negative emotions.
Live your own life. Bring out the best in each other and work on your own couple, per your own standards and expectations.
7. Instinct and emotion trump pure reason.
This is the hardest thing for some people to learn and then accept. Sometimes, one spouse is often right despite what may seem wrongful reasoning, irrational demands, emotional appeals. Reason alone is not enough and leads you down wrong paths. Sometimes you really have to listen to your spouse and follow his or her requests, then ask the questions later.
8. Well, do you miss the chase?
Yes and no. Even if you loved to date before, when married, you’ll think twice and three and four times before pursuing another man or woman. Once you invest all your efforts with one person for so long (and actually succeed), why would you want to jeopardize it for a shallow hook-up?
More to the point, if you’ve stopped chasing your wife, you’ve lost a step yourself. If you’ve stopped exciting her with your jokes, actions and ideas, you need fresh material. It’s your job to keep her excited about you and where you’re going together in life.
Your wife is a different woman every day. Make things exciting by wooing her like you want to win her. Try something new once in a while. The same goes for those of you with husbands!
9. Doesn’t the sex get bad?
If you let it, for sure it does. If either of you let things get stale in any part of your relationship—especially this one—it can really bring down the enjoyment factor.
Here’s a novel idea (followed by Orthodox Jews): separate for a few days each month and don’t touch each other at all. When you’re back in the saddle, it’s gooood.
10. Patience isn’t a virtue; it’s earned.
Not just patience with your partner, but with yourself. You have to always work to improve yourself, but progress is never quick.
Patience is the only way you can get past all the frustrations that can pile up when you take two people with different personalities, hormones, cultures, languages, worldviews, types of hygiene, ways or organizing life and so on and put them together in one house.
Meditate, pray, take a walk around the block. Play the long game. Do whatever you have to do to be patient with your partner and with yourself. You will prevail over your foibles and get over the silly things that cause you to argue and become frustrated.
11. Your spouse is always #1.
Not your book, not your job, not your best buddy. When your spouse needs you, you drop everything. Or eventually, he or she will drop you.
12. Never settle or backslide.
Once you do, your relationship starts a slow death. Maintain the high standards for yourself you had when you met—and impressed—each other and fell in love.
Marriages force you to negotiate and compromise—a LOT, no matter you like it or not. After the first two years or so of lovey-dovey soft stuff, it becomes about just wanting to do good for him or her. After the honeymoon’s forgotten, it’s about the comfort, spending time together, not the glamour or the fancy gifts.
The act of getting married’s easy. Staying married’s hard.
A friend’s father-in-law once said, “This got me through a good twenty first years of marriage: ‘You’re right, I’m wrong. I’m sorry, I will change.’ One day, she tells me. ‘Hey, I’ve heard this one too many times.’ I said, ‘I’m sorry, I will change. I’m wrong, you’re right.’ And this has lasted me another ten until today.”
Wisdom in marriage is hard-earned, in stride. Whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.
1. Marriage is constant work.
Never stop dating. Always pay attention. Keep learning, sharing, laughing with your partner. Treat yourself well and treat your partner even better. Never neglect your looks or words or actions—or your thoughts. Keep working hard to be a better person, lover, partner, chef, bartender and caretaker, janitor and driver. Seek truth, not to be right.
Make sure to listen carefully—the first time, every time. Just get stuff done ASAP, on time. Keep your mouth shut; don’t moan and complain. Be helpful, be encouraging. Get your chores done each day, don’t wait. Know when the storm is coming; it will pass. The morning’s wiser than the night. Resolve your argument before you sleep (apologize!)
2. Argument is just not worth it.
Most of the time, the argument is just not worth it. Pick your battles carefully.
Being right will make you proud one moment, but will piss her off. Bad move. Be smart.
3. Laugh hard.
If you can’t laugh, you’ll die. And if you can, you’ll manage through mundane, profane, the painful and the thrilling.
4. How’s life? How is your wife?
One and the same. That’s one cliche both sexes can agree on.
5. It can be like riding on a roller coaster.
How’s married life? The answer can be different any given day. Today is glorious, tomorrow awful. And so what?
6. Never compare your couple to any other.
This always leads to disaster. Never compare your house, your relationship, your sex life, your wealth or anything else to anyone else’s. That’s the first step to being consumed by fear, jealousy, envy and all the other negative emotions.
Live your own life. Bring out the best in each other and work on your own couple, per your own standards and expectations.
7. Instinct and emotion trump pure reason.
This is the hardest thing for some people to learn and then accept. Sometimes, one spouse is often right despite what may seem wrongful reasoning, irrational demands, emotional appeals. Reason alone is not enough and leads you down wrong paths. Sometimes you really have to listen to your spouse and follow his or her requests, then ask the questions later.
8. Well, do you miss the chase?
Yes and no. Even if you loved to date before, when married, you’ll think twice and three and four times before pursuing another man or woman. Once you invest all your efforts with one person for so long (and actually succeed), why would you want to jeopardize it for a shallow hook-up?
More to the point, if you’ve stopped chasing your wife, you’ve lost a step yourself. If you’ve stopped exciting her with your jokes, actions and ideas, you need fresh material. It’s your job to keep her excited about you and where you’re going together in life.
Your wife is a different woman every day. Make things exciting by wooing her like you want to win her. Try something new once in a while. The same goes for those of you with husbands!
9. Doesn’t the sex get bad?
If you let it, for sure it does. If either of you let things get stale in any part of your relationship—especially this one—it can really bring down the enjoyment factor.
Here’s a novel idea (followed by Orthodox Jews): separate for a few days each month and don’t touch each other at all. When you’re back in the saddle, it’s gooood.
10. Patience isn’t a virtue; it’s earned.
Not just patience with your partner, but with yourself. You have to always work to improve yourself, but progress is never quick.
Patience is the only way you can get past all the frustrations that can pile up when you take two people with different personalities, hormones, cultures, languages, worldviews, types of hygiene, ways or organizing life and so on and put them together in one house.
Meditate, pray, take a walk around the block. Play the long game. Do whatever you have to do to be patient with your partner and with yourself. You will prevail over your foibles and get over the silly things that cause you to argue and become frustrated.
11. Your spouse is always #1.
Not your book, not your job, not your best buddy. When your spouse needs you, you drop everything. Or eventually, he or she will drop you.
12. Never settle or backslide.
Once you do, your relationship starts a slow death. Maintain the high standards for yourself you had when you met—and impressed—each other and fell in love.
Wednesday 13 July 2016
Monday 11 July 2016
Tuesday 21 June 2016
TELL ME WHY
You…. Why did you leave me alone like this….
Making me cry all night like this….
Tearing my heart a part … I dont know what to say…
Please take it all away…..
You…. Please do make me understand….
I just wanna be your man…
Why cant it be like that, I dont know what to do…
Owwhh Baby, I still Love you….
DO YOU REMEMBER, the journey we had was so a far….
DO YOU REMEMBER, the kiss we had in my car….
DO YOU REMEMBER, every time your stare at me, there’s butterflies….
DO YOU REMEMBER, every time you make me laugh and cry…
SO TELL ME WHYYY..??? WHYYY..??? WHYYYY…???
SO TELL ME WHY…?? WHY..?? WHY…???
You… my heart for you is always strong…
But my love to you is always wrong….
I know It’s been too long for you to be with me….
But baby cant you…
Monday 20 June 2016
LOVE IS THE POISON, LOVE IS THE ANTIDOTE..: Read This If You Don’t Want To Miss Your True Love...
LOVE IS THE POISON, LOVE IS THE ANTIDOTE..: Read This If You Don’t Want To Miss Your True Love...: It has captivated men and women in every era, on every continent, from every culture. It has caused wars and ended them, it has brought th...
Friday 17 June 2016
Wednesday 15 June 2016
6 Tips to Successfully Make the Most of Your Day
24 hours in a day, that is all we have, or 1440 minutes if you really want to get technical. That really isn’t a lot of time if you break down all that actually goes into making your day, however, there are plenty of ways to actually make the most out of your day, and here is the first step to take:
Step 1: Make Your Bed
I totally just added another chore to your list, but, hey, trust me on this one, making your bed actually can do a lot more good than you think. Making your bed in the morning is actually the perfect step to take when beginning your day. Fluffing those pillows, and straightening up your sheets has been proven to make people happier, and to be honest, being happy is exactly what we all need at 6:00 in the morning!
Step 2: Your Appearance
You are beautiful the way you are, but that doesn’t mean you should give up on yourself. Try doing your hair more often than normal, painting your nails a different color than usual, or giving yourself a whole new wardrobe makeover. All of these things can really help boost your confidence and kick-start your day, the right way. Making a few small changes to your look can really go a long way for your overall confidence. Changing things up is always good as long as you are comfortable with it.
Step 3: Your Work
You are already great at what you do for a living, but what if you put a little extra work in at your day-to-day job? Going the extra mile really shows, and people will start to notice. Try and be creative with normal tasks during the day that may carry you farther. You may start to discover a new skill or talent that you didn’t even know existed. Make the little things count!
Step 4: Your Attitude
OK, so this might be a tough one for some. Having a positive attitude. Not everyone can do this day in and day out, and I am not suggesting you fake one either. Waking up with a happy outlook on life is crucial to how you act during the day, and how others will treat you in return. If you are normally one to have a sour attitude or are generally nervous about the day, try putting on a smile and showing the world that you can take on anything!
Step 5: Planning Out Your Week
Scheduling out your week is something most people only wish they had the time for, but never really set aside a minute to do so. I recently purchased an Erin Condren day planner from her online store. I really can’t say that I have ever found a planner quite like this one. It comes with so many interesting features like sticky notes, custom appointment stickers, and much more. I really enjoy laying out my week and visualizing how the week will play out. This also gives you a good scope of what your days will feel like, and allows you to mentally prepare for anything that might come your way during that time.
Step 6: Taking Time For Yourself
Most of us don’t always have the option of “me time”, but believe me, with 24 hours in a day, I know you can make it happen. Even if it’s for 10 or 20 minutes, make time available to collect your thoughts, read or do anything that you truly enjoy. If you can get a longer time out of the day, grab it and make the most of it! You will feel more grounded, and positive once you do this.
Finally, I leave you with this: Not every day is going to go the way you “planned” it. As much as you try to stay positive or count on the steps you’ve taken to actually have a good day, life changes and sometimes we won’t like it. But, that is not to say you can’t control how you feel during the day. Even if something doesn’t go your way, or you do something that wasn’t completely the way you wanted it, there is always tomorrow to start over again and pick yourself back up.
Step 1: Make Your Bed
I totally just added another chore to your list, but, hey, trust me on this one, making your bed actually can do a lot more good than you think. Making your bed in the morning is actually the perfect step to take when beginning your day. Fluffing those pillows, and straightening up your sheets has been proven to make people happier, and to be honest, being happy is exactly what we all need at 6:00 in the morning!
Step 2: Your Appearance
You are beautiful the way you are, but that doesn’t mean you should give up on yourself. Try doing your hair more often than normal, painting your nails a different color than usual, or giving yourself a whole new wardrobe makeover. All of these things can really help boost your confidence and kick-start your day, the right way. Making a few small changes to your look can really go a long way for your overall confidence. Changing things up is always good as long as you are comfortable with it.
Step 3: Your Work
You are already great at what you do for a living, but what if you put a little extra work in at your day-to-day job? Going the extra mile really shows, and people will start to notice. Try and be creative with normal tasks during the day that may carry you farther. You may start to discover a new skill or talent that you didn’t even know existed. Make the little things count!
Step 4: Your Attitude
OK, so this might be a tough one for some. Having a positive attitude. Not everyone can do this day in and day out, and I am not suggesting you fake one either. Waking up with a happy outlook on life is crucial to how you act during the day, and how others will treat you in return. If you are normally one to have a sour attitude or are generally nervous about the day, try putting on a smile and showing the world that you can take on anything!
Step 5: Planning Out Your Week
Scheduling out your week is something most people only wish they had the time for, but never really set aside a minute to do so. I recently purchased an Erin Condren day planner from her online store. I really can’t say that I have ever found a planner quite like this one. It comes with so many interesting features like sticky notes, custom appointment stickers, and much more. I really enjoy laying out my week and visualizing how the week will play out. This also gives you a good scope of what your days will feel like, and allows you to mentally prepare for anything that might come your way during that time.
Step 6: Taking Time For Yourself
Most of us don’t always have the option of “me time”, but believe me, with 24 hours in a day, I know you can make it happen. Even if it’s for 10 or 20 minutes, make time available to collect your thoughts, read or do anything that you truly enjoy. If you can get a longer time out of the day, grab it and make the most of it! You will feel more grounded, and positive once you do this.
Finally, I leave you with this: Not every day is going to go the way you “planned” it. As much as you try to stay positive or count on the steps you’ve taken to actually have a good day, life changes and sometimes we won’t like it. But, that is not to say you can’t control how you feel during the day. Even if something doesn’t go your way, or you do something that wasn’t completely the way you wanted it, there is always tomorrow to start over again and pick yourself back up.
Thursday 9 June 2016
Wednesday 8 June 2016
U MAD FOOL..??? SO AM I...!!!
LOVE IS THE POISON, LOVE IS THE ANTIDOTE..: U MAD FOOL..??? SO AM I...!!!: Vic Mensa - U Mad ft. Kanye West Well, if you guys feeling "MAD" at something, like I am right now, I guess this song will soo...
Tuesday 24 May 2016
Survivor...
Check Out My Latest Videoclip That I've Made Just To Entertained Myself From All this Bullshit that cost me Everything from Financial to My Family and out of Nowhere I gotta struggled just for keep on Living In This Motha Fucka World which is full of Bias and Shit... I hope my son will enjoy and learned my mistakes by watching this video called Survivor... so that he can put in his mind that Most women Nowaday are Bastards.....
Wednesday 18 May 2016
CLEAVAGE THAT ROCK MY WORLD
This is part of my "All Time" Favourite pictures of clevage.... Dammnnn...
Psychologists Confirm 5 Signs That Show You Are In A Long Lasting Relationship
“What can make a marriage work is surprisingly simple. Happily married couples aren’t smarter, richer, or more psychologically astute than others. But in their day-to-day lives, they have hit upon a dynamic that keeps their negative thoughts and feelings about each other (which all couples have) from overwhelming their positive ones. They have what I call an emotionally intelligent marriage.” – Dr. John Gottman, The Relationship Research Institute
Here are the 5 signs that show that you are in a long lasting relationship:
1. You are courteous to each other
You talk to each other in a way that is cordial and friendly. You treat your partner as your equal. When you speak to each other in a manner that reflects respect, this fosters a long lasting relationship.
2. You complain, but you do not criticize
Your complaints have an “I” tone rather that a “You” tone. You do not take complaints against each other to another level and start saying critical statements about your partner’s character or personality. You understand that forgetting to pay the rent on time means that there is an opportunity to work on time management skills, rather than thinking they are a failure.
3. You are not contemptuous towards each other
You speak to each other in the language of love. Name calling, sneering, eye-rolling and hurtful comments are not a part of your daily conversations. You understand that the words you do not like to hear from your partner, you should also not say to them.
4. You do not put each other down
You focus on conflict resolution in an amicable manner. You understand that conflicts are not a battleground to establish your power over one another, but an opportunity to hear out a perspective that is different than your own. When differences in opinions emerge, you remind each other that you are a team and you are on each other’s side.
5. You do not ignore each other
You acknowledge each other’s feelings and hear out each other’s frustrations. You do not use silent treatment to ignore what your partner has to say, especially after a confrontation.
Here are the 5 signs that show that you are in a long lasting relationship:
1. You are courteous to each other
You talk to each other in a way that is cordial and friendly. You treat your partner as your equal. When you speak to each other in a manner that reflects respect, this fosters a long lasting relationship.
2. You complain, but you do not criticize
Your complaints have an “I” tone rather that a “You” tone. You do not take complaints against each other to another level and start saying critical statements about your partner’s character or personality. You understand that forgetting to pay the rent on time means that there is an opportunity to work on time management skills, rather than thinking they are a failure.
3. You are not contemptuous towards each other
You speak to each other in the language of love. Name calling, sneering, eye-rolling and hurtful comments are not a part of your daily conversations. You understand that the words you do not like to hear from your partner, you should also not say to them.
4. You do not put each other down
You focus on conflict resolution in an amicable manner. You understand that conflicts are not a battleground to establish your power over one another, but an opportunity to hear out a perspective that is different than your own. When differences in opinions emerge, you remind each other that you are a team and you are on each other’s side.
5. You do not ignore each other
You acknowledge each other’s feelings and hear out each other’s frustrations. You do not use silent treatment to ignore what your partner has to say, especially after a confrontation.
Tuesday 17 May 2016
TO 10 COMMANDMENTS FOR RELATIONSHIPS TO WORK PERFECTLY
1 Love each other.
2 Open lines of communication.
3 Respect for each other.
4 Honesty is the best policy.
5 Sacrifices.
6 Compromising.
7 Conflict resolution.
8 Give space when needed.
9 Maintain the element of surprise.
10 Remind the other person why you chose them.
Independent of your background, culture, ethnicity, socioeconomic level, or any other factor, everything should come down to how much you love each other. This feeling or sentiment is recognized in any four corners of the globe. In addition, the lines of communication are crucial and it is better to maintain a high degree of transparency to build everlasting trust.
The third point is one of the essential, if not the most important, aspects of a relationship: respect. Without this, no relationship of any kind can really evolve in a healthy manner. By extension, honesty goes hand in hand with open lines of communication and it is better to tell the truth.
When you give up something, no matter the cost or worth, you are building a lifetime partnership. This opens a smooth transition to the step of compromising and making exchanges that satisfy both parties invested in the relationship.
Nevertheless, conflicts will occur at any point of the relationship. Conflicts sometimes show up in the early phases or at a later stage when getting to know someone. So it is best when a tense argument erupts to have each person walk away and reconvene when moods are settled down. There is nothing worse than saying fowl or mean things in the heat of the moment — you will regret it later. Think long and hard before uttering painful words at the other person.
Chances are, if you have reached item eight on the list, that it is easier from there onward. Co-existing with a lifelong partner requires a lot of work and a sense of renewing the relationship, so allow for the other person to engage in separate activities with others. This helps remove saturation and a sense of routine or boredom with each other.
Whenever appropriate, plan beyond traditional relationship holidays like Valentine’s Day or an Anniversary celebration. Sure you want to keep those days in mind, yet leave plenty of room for spontaneous events. This helps build a sense of adventure and timeliness for any relationship. Remind each other in reasonable amounts why you are with each other in the first place.
Friday 13 May 2016
"Grass Ain't Greener"
-Chris Brown-
You ain't the girl that you used to be
You say you're done, you're moving on
This ain't the world that it used to be
Looks like you've won, looks like you've won
Sick of leaving messages on your cell
But you never fuck with none of them
Girl you had somebody that really cared
How you fuck it up, girl it's not fair
You used to be the one to talk to on the side
Waiting for my love to break up
It's crazy how your ass can walk through every night
Acting like you been a player
That grass ain't greener on the other side
Oh yeah
That grass ain't greener on the other side
Oh yeah
[Verse 2:]
Seems like ain't nothing cool about being real
No one's honest about what they feel
Take a hoe and try to treat her well
She'll be back up at the club again
I know what you want, but you're not gon' get it
That's enough for sure that you fucking with you
You do what you want with somebody else
I'm gone, baby
You used to be the one to talk to on the side
Waiting for my love to break up
It's crazy how your ass can walk through every night
Acting like you been a player
That grass ain't greener on the other side
Oh yeah
That grass ain't greener on the other side
Oh yeah
My homie said I need to stop it
My momma said bitches be watching you
They gon' put their hand all in your pocket
For the credit card that's in your wallet
Drinking liquor when we celebrating
Calculating all my funds
Tryna get a nigga take the condom off
Cause she want that tax every month, woo
I know what you want, but you're not gon' get it
Take my kindness for weakness when you acting silly
Keeping it 100 ain't your forté
You used to be
You used to be the one to talk to on the side
Waiting for my love to break up
It's crazy how your ass can walk through every night
Acting like you been a player
That grass ain't greener on the other side
Oh yeah
That grass ain't greener on the other side
Oh yeah
You ain't the girl that you used to be
You say you're done, you're moving on
This ain't the world that it used to be
Looks like you've won, looks like you've won
Sick of leaving messages on your cell
But you never fuck with none of them
Girl you had somebody that really cared
How you fuck it up, girl it's not fair
You used to be the one to talk to on the side
Waiting for my love to break up
It's crazy how your ass can walk through every night
Acting like you been a player
That grass ain't greener on the other side
Oh yeah
That grass ain't greener on the other side
Oh yeah
[Verse 2:]
Seems like ain't nothing cool about being real
No one's honest about what they feel
Take a hoe and try to treat her well
She'll be back up at the club again
I know what you want, but you're not gon' get it
That's enough for sure that you fucking with you
You do what you want with somebody else
I'm gone, baby
You used to be the one to talk to on the side
Waiting for my love to break up
It's crazy how your ass can walk through every night
Acting like you been a player
That grass ain't greener on the other side
Oh yeah
That grass ain't greener on the other side
Oh yeah
My homie said I need to stop it
My momma said bitches be watching you
They gon' put their hand all in your pocket
For the credit card that's in your wallet
Drinking liquor when we celebrating
Calculating all my funds
Tryna get a nigga take the condom off
Cause she want that tax every month, woo
I know what you want, but you're not gon' get it
Take my kindness for weakness when you acting silly
Keeping it 100 ain't your forté
You used to be
You used to be the one to talk to on the side
Waiting for my love to break up
It's crazy how your ass can walk through every night
Acting like you been a player
That grass ain't greener on the other side
Oh yeah
That grass ain't greener on the other side
Oh yeah
Wednesday 11 May 2016
Tuesday 10 May 2016
Monday 9 May 2016
7 Reasons Why Experiencing Grief Makes You A Better Person
Grief can be all-consuming. I’ve lost both parents and can tell you it leaves you lost and broken. Grief comes in many forms not just in death, but it can also present through the significant loss of a relationship, marriage or job. When you’re suffering through grief you feel like you are living in an alternative universe. It’s horrible.
It can leave you barely functioning and curled up on the couch in shock. You move forward because you have to, it’s the circle of life. People try to be kind and tell you that as time passes things will get easier, and it does to some extent, but you will never be the same person that you were before. Your reality and world has been altered and you have to learn to live in this new world, minus the loved one, significant relationship, or career.
When I looked back on my life and how I dealt with grief before, I realized that I had changed significantly in ways I would have never expected or have experienced, had I not gone through such a loss. I was surprised at the life lessons that I’d learnt in such a short period of time. Through grief I’d learnt to look at life differently. Here’s why experiencing grief changes your life and makes you a better person:
1. Your relationships become stronger
When grief strikes, you really do find out who your real friends/family are. I’d always hear people say this to me, but never thought much else about it. When tough times come, grief sorts out who is there for you and who isn’t. This can have a further grieving effect on you through the loss of friends you thought would be there to help support you. You now see your relationships in their true light. If you didn’t realize it before, you realize now what amazing people you have around you, and you aspire to be the kind of friend that they have been to you: a brilliant one. Every relationship you have becomes more important and valuable. It changes how you and makes you want to become a more invested, attentive, giving person in relationships.
2. You get your finances in order
This is a weird one. After going through probate after a death, or even through a divorce situation where finances are divided, you learn how important it is to manage money. You find yourself paying off debt quicker, wanting to prevent negative consequences if something ever happened to you.
You manage your budget, realize that your savings account needs to pumped up in case of emergencies, and you are to become more financially savvy than ever. Grief teaches you that monetary issues don’t stop upon death, divorce, relationship breakdown, or career loss, and it’s important to put yourself in a good financial position in case anything unexpected was to happen.
3. You become healthier
Before I went through my experience of grief, I thought I was 10 foot tall and bulletproof. Life was awesome. Yes I had extra pounds, yes, I needed a dental check up ,and yes I definitely should have been exercising more, but hey, I’ll get around to it, right?
Watching a loved one pass from the effects of their deteriorating health, makes you realize the importance of looking after your own health. Keeping healthy has never become more important in order to keep disease and sickness at bay. Grief kicked my butt hard, and I found myself spending more time in the vegetable aisle at the supermarket, and getting regular check ups at the doctor to keep everything in check. The need to focus on becoming healthier was immediate; it changes how you think, feel, and treat your body.
4. You become more spiritual
When you are faced with grief, you tend to look inside yourself more to seek answers. When we can’t find those answers we look to our higher power for comfort and solace. You re-evaluate your values and responsibilities. You meditate, you pray, you seek calmness and soothing. You become much more in touch with your spiritual side and incorporate that more into your daily life.
5. The little things don’t bother you anymore
This was actually a godsend for me. I am a worrier. Pre-grief I used to get hung up on the little things, worrying constantly about the small details. When you lose a significant person in your life, you realize that the only things that really matter are the relationships you hold with other people. The decision about whether to buy a black car or a white one, or travel from Sydney to London via either Bangkok or Hong Kong, doesn’t seem like a big deal anymore. You don’t sweat the small stuff.
6. You make an effort to make more memories
Sitting, watching someone pass or walk out the door and leave you, leaves you with only one thing to hang onto: memories. Memories are an important part of grief. They allow us to keep the loved one alive in our mind and hearts. In time you are able to sit back and remember all of the great times, funny moments, and the life you shared together. You realize the importance, therefore of creating more memories, of working less and holidaying more, of life experiences and spending more time with those you love. Making memories becomes a very high priority and one that will change your life significantly.
7. You love more completely
The significance of the loss you feel through grief would make it understandable if you never wanted to love again. Ever. Why love when you will lose eventually? It shows you pretty fast that your love for people is worth every second, so you tend to love more completely, more freely and deeply. Grief is born out of love, and to love someone so much that you are consumed with sadness is only a testament to the love you felt for them. You find yourself showing more love, and falling in love a bit more easily, because you know now just how worthy you feel to have been blessed with it.
I know from experience how difficult it is to wade through the grief process. The longing for the person or situation to return, the sadness, the unanswered questions, the ‘some days are better than others’ feeling, and the advice people who try to comfort you without experiencing the situation themselves. I’m not going to tell you that it gets better with time, but what i will tell you is that grief changes you. You look at life in a new light, you value it so much more, and become a better person because of it.
It can leave you barely functioning and curled up on the couch in shock. You move forward because you have to, it’s the circle of life. People try to be kind and tell you that as time passes things will get easier, and it does to some extent, but you will never be the same person that you were before. Your reality and world has been altered and you have to learn to live in this new world, minus the loved one, significant relationship, or career.
When I looked back on my life and how I dealt with grief before, I realized that I had changed significantly in ways I would have never expected or have experienced, had I not gone through such a loss. I was surprised at the life lessons that I’d learnt in such a short period of time. Through grief I’d learnt to look at life differently. Here’s why experiencing grief changes your life and makes you a better person:
1. Your relationships become stronger
When grief strikes, you really do find out who your real friends/family are. I’d always hear people say this to me, but never thought much else about it. When tough times come, grief sorts out who is there for you and who isn’t. This can have a further grieving effect on you through the loss of friends you thought would be there to help support you. You now see your relationships in their true light. If you didn’t realize it before, you realize now what amazing people you have around you, and you aspire to be the kind of friend that they have been to you: a brilliant one. Every relationship you have becomes more important and valuable. It changes how you and makes you want to become a more invested, attentive, giving person in relationships.
2. You get your finances in order
This is a weird one. After going through probate after a death, or even through a divorce situation where finances are divided, you learn how important it is to manage money. You find yourself paying off debt quicker, wanting to prevent negative consequences if something ever happened to you.
You manage your budget, realize that your savings account needs to pumped up in case of emergencies, and you are to become more financially savvy than ever. Grief teaches you that monetary issues don’t stop upon death, divorce, relationship breakdown, or career loss, and it’s important to put yourself in a good financial position in case anything unexpected was to happen.
3. You become healthier
Before I went through my experience of grief, I thought I was 10 foot tall and bulletproof. Life was awesome. Yes I had extra pounds, yes, I needed a dental check up ,and yes I definitely should have been exercising more, but hey, I’ll get around to it, right?
Watching a loved one pass from the effects of their deteriorating health, makes you realize the importance of looking after your own health. Keeping healthy has never become more important in order to keep disease and sickness at bay. Grief kicked my butt hard, and I found myself spending more time in the vegetable aisle at the supermarket, and getting regular check ups at the doctor to keep everything in check. The need to focus on becoming healthier was immediate; it changes how you think, feel, and treat your body.
4. You become more spiritual
When you are faced with grief, you tend to look inside yourself more to seek answers. When we can’t find those answers we look to our higher power for comfort and solace. You re-evaluate your values and responsibilities. You meditate, you pray, you seek calmness and soothing. You become much more in touch with your spiritual side and incorporate that more into your daily life.
5. The little things don’t bother you anymore
This was actually a godsend for me. I am a worrier. Pre-grief I used to get hung up on the little things, worrying constantly about the small details. When you lose a significant person in your life, you realize that the only things that really matter are the relationships you hold with other people. The decision about whether to buy a black car or a white one, or travel from Sydney to London via either Bangkok or Hong Kong, doesn’t seem like a big deal anymore. You don’t sweat the small stuff.
6. You make an effort to make more memories
Sitting, watching someone pass or walk out the door and leave you, leaves you with only one thing to hang onto: memories. Memories are an important part of grief. They allow us to keep the loved one alive in our mind and hearts. In time you are able to sit back and remember all of the great times, funny moments, and the life you shared together. You realize the importance, therefore of creating more memories, of working less and holidaying more, of life experiences and spending more time with those you love. Making memories becomes a very high priority and one that will change your life significantly.
7. You love more completely
The significance of the loss you feel through grief would make it understandable if you never wanted to love again. Ever. Why love when you will lose eventually? It shows you pretty fast that your love for people is worth every second, so you tend to love more completely, more freely and deeply. Grief is born out of love, and to love someone so much that you are consumed with sadness is only a testament to the love you felt for them. You find yourself showing more love, and falling in love a bit more easily, because you know now just how worthy you feel to have been blessed with it.
I know from experience how difficult it is to wade through the grief process. The longing for the person or situation to return, the sadness, the unanswered questions, the ‘some days are better than others’ feeling, and the advice people who try to comfort you without experiencing the situation themselves. I’m not going to tell you that it gets better with time, but what i will tell you is that grief changes you. You look at life in a new light, you value it so much more, and become a better person because of it.
Wednesday 4 May 2016
MY MISTAKE'S
Thinking of what I did,
What I made of myself,
Cause when I look down I see some scars,
And when I see the scars I think of your broken heart...
The love of my life is gone,
I knew I could of done something ...
But no I didn't...
It's all my fault, HAHAHA good riddance ...
Fuck it man I don't what's all the business ...
Life is as good as over...
Cause I can't even try and bulldozer ...
Over the problem at hand ...
When I made myself a fan...
But no.... damn....
I never what it would be like....
without you by my side ....
Wishing I could see you without breaking into a fight ....
I don't wanna hurt you... .
But you can't get over why I'm here....
SOMETHING I PUT TOGETHER
IM NOT GOOD BUT I THOUGHT
IF THIS ALL ON THE TOP OF MY HEAD
It's hard enough when your not around,
you don't know how much it brings me down....
Knowing it was something I did,
I should have respected your feelings...
I know I treated you the wrong way,
and there is nothing I could say...
I didn't know I would miss you so much....
I need you back and I need your love....
The winds rush by strong and carelessly,
throwing away my dreams out openly,
and in the shadow of my smile lies pain....
locked away in freezing chains...,
never has anyone seen my face....,
just a mask tied with black lace....,
i cry out in loneliness and shame....,
for i know it will always be the same...,
anger hate sadness and sorrow, past present, and always tomorrow
all these feelings unmasked when you were around,
with you I felt safe and sound....
and now look at me,
when you left I knew I made a mistake...
and I want you back....
LYRICS BY :-
LYRICS BY :-
-RJA-
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)